10.02.2013

That's why it is called the present.

todayisagift-pavinee

I have been struggling with something inside me lately. I feel I cannot work on my art as smoothly as I used to as in months ago. I keep thinking of improving my art and shop and have a lot of sketches in my sketchbooks but somehow I cannot produce them into final artwork. I discussed my feelings with my friends and they kindly pointed out why I have become so slow.

First, I'm trapped in the attempt to be perfect. I don't think I'm a perfectionist but maybe I'm subconsciously trying to be. Strangely enough, I went through this kind of perfection struggle once already when I decided to open my shop. Now it comes back to me.

Second, I have been absorbing too much of information. I took e-courses, read a lot of creative business blogs and books. All these information are good helpful things and I'm learning a lot. But it can be a double-edged sword when I cannot organize things in my head well enough. Plus, during the process of learning, I get to know a lot of people and I can't help comparing with them. I know it's a no-no thing for those who work in creative business. Comparing doesn't help, instead, it slows you down and even paralyzes you. I know this too well but still...

I miss myself when I could draw without thinking, just drew and posted my doodles on my Page almost everyday. When I just had fun and get excited with occasional Etsy orders...

But I guess there's always a cure for a problem. Now I know my problem. Someone says that guilt and comparison are not productive. So, I'm going to let those unproductive feelings go and live with the minutes of joy when I draw and paint. Learn as much as I can but won't put too much pressure on myself. I want to be successful in creative business but not as much as to be happy with my art in the present moment, I realize :)

By the way, the drawing above I drew as a sample for a book illustration project. The idea is based on the famous quote :

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it is called the present.
---Alice Morse Earle

The illustration will look different in the final but this is already perfect for this post and my MerryDay :)

Thanks for coming. I hope you have a merry creative day :)


11 comments:

  1. Hi Pavinee! I think I recognize how you feel. There's so much information and interesting things to learn and absorb around, it can paralyze a bit in your own work and focus. At least, that's something I'm thinking about and working on at the moment too. i want everything I do to be and look perfect and it could always look and be better. And it seems other people always are far more better and perfect at certain thing than I am....Like you describe, when this feeling occurs, i try to go back from where it all started: my love for drawing. All those other things should never overrule just that love and joy of doing it. When I keep that love for drawing as my main interest and focus, I feel things will roll the way they have to be/will be. But this is easier said then done sometimes, but I'm aware of it and try to keep my balance.
    I would love for you to stay true to yourself and enjoy your merry drawings :-), so I and other people will enjoy them too :-). Good luck and thank you for your honesty, it makes me feel I'm not the only one who feels this way...

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    1. Thank you for your kind comment Esther. I felt a bit embarrassed to write about this as it seems that I have gone through this feeling so many times. Alway struggle with it :) However, I learn that putting my feeling into words helps organizing all the mess in my head and I can think more clearly.

      I feel much better now and yes you are not the only one who feel this way.
      Just be happy with our art, shall we? :D

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  2. pavinee! knowing what's wrong is the first step towards correcting and you have already done that. The business of making creative things is possibly the least creative part of it. Don't let that get the better of you.Good luck as you get back on track :)

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    1. Thank you Soni! It's so nice to be able to share this with friends like you, Esther and the group. I promise to get back on track and be merry very soon :D

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  3. I think this is a great, healthy approach. It's not easy at times, for whatever reasons. We all have places and dry spells and then we start internal guilt trips, putting ourselves down, etc. You're an AMAZING artist. Don't be defeated by occasional moments in our lives that may slow us down. :) I SO believe in you!!

    And your pressie sketch is absolutely cute! I LOVE LOVE it. This would make a great birthday card. :)

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    1. Thanks so much Alexandra. It is indeed an internal guilt trip which we seem to take from time to time. I respect those who take the trip once, learn the lesson and never take it again. One day I may be one of those, I hope :)

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  4. Hello Pavinee - I feel a little like that myself at the moment. It's always difficult not to compare ourselves with others. Especially when we're constantly presented with other people's work via the internet etc, which is also a good thing too obviously...but still, I do find myself looking at other 'successful' people's work and comparing my own to it and when I go away, I do feel completely stuck - I find myself thinking will it be successful? Will people like it? Rather than just creating something I love. I think the problem comes too when we're looking at other artists who work in the same field as us. I don't know if you saw the little article Stephanie posted yesterday on Facebook but an interesting thought was to do something different in order keep on being inspired. I often feel very inspired by art but I realise that more often than not, it's when I see art that's not necessarily anything like mine. I hope that makes sense :) Wishing you a merry day full of unbridled creativity x

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    1. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one Rachel. I have just realized that this kind of feeling has its power when I can't focus on my work. Once I actually dive in working on my art, successfully or not, it doesn't have power on me at all. So, the cure is to start working! :D

      It's also a good trick to look for art that is completely different from what I'm working on. To avoid comparison. Good point, Rachel. Thanks so much :D

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  5. You are not alone Pavinee, I struggle like this too. You are brave to talk about it and are very very talented. I'm glad you let us know about your post in Kari's community. -Tamara

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    1. Hello Tamara. Thanks for visiting my blog. I hope this post can be helpful to you :)

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  6. Oh man, yes! The perfection thing is a trap I fall into as well. And I don't really see myself as a "perfectionist" either, but I think sometimes in my creative life it can stifle impulses to start new projects-- because I don't know enough, or don't have X, or blah blah blah. Clearly, I'm all for planning, but I think sometimes for people like me (us?) it can be good to just dive in, toss the plans, and learn on the go. To leave the ideals of perfection behind. Easier said then done though, right?
    I love that we're all talking about this! Hugs

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