3.03.2013

With the Line of Fear in between...

MerryDay studio

I woke up this morning thinking about my creative life.

Some days ago someone on my facebook feed said hello to her first day of creative life. She had been working in illustration field for some time already but I guess not in a way she wanted it to be. I think I understand what she felt when she wrote the status. I think about myself and realize I am still standing in between two worlds.

Last year I made a decision to put all my focus to my MerryDay brand. It's really in an initial step but I feel the need to make it official at least to me. I changed my career status on my facebook profile from 'freelance graphic designer and illustrator' to 'creator of MerryDay'. Such a silly and unnecessary small step but it has a huge effect on me. I reduce my freelance job and concentrate more on my drawings for my MerryDay.

I thought I was not afraid but maybe I still am. It's funny. Freelance job is not a stable job but the fact that I know for sure how much I would earn when I have a project seems more comfortable than making art which you love but not sure if it's going to sell. Like I said above, I am still standing one leg in my somewhat secure world, the other in my love-but-yet-unknown future with the line of fear in between.

Will I pull my other leg back? You know for sure I won't and I guess that's a good news. What I need to do now is to find strength to cross the line and stand strong in my challenging world.

I know there are so many of you out there who are afraid of something but still want to take a risk anyway. It would be wonderful if you leave a comment of your experience here :)

I have already written a draft about what I'm working on and will post it here very soon.  If you want to know how my creative journey goes, you can follow me through my MerryDay fan page. That's where I am most of the time.

Thank you for dropping by.  I hope you have a merry day :D


18 comments:

  1. One step at a time, one day at a time, one foot in front of the other, one step forwards, sometimes a step backwards, a stumble here, a stumble there, a falling down and a getting back up, then another step and another until finally you are walking without thinking. That's how babies do it, that's how we can too, when we are learning to walk a new way. Lovely post and good luck, it's just about transferring the weight until lifting the other foot feels so light easy it's the natural thing to do. It takes time and determination, but with grace it will come. Oh and don't forget to enjoy it. Smile at yourself and be happy that you did it. Babies often let out a huge shriek, I hope you do too! :)

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    1. Thanks so much Suzi. It's simple as that indeed, to lift another foot and cross the line. I hope the time of letting out a huge shriek will come to me soon :)

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    2. Yes it's that simple, Pavinee. Thanks for posting this post, because you it made me write that response and now I've re-worked it and posted it as a story on my 420 Characters short story group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/125303967480048/?fref=ts Amazing how we inspire each other. Thanks.

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    3. Wonderful! One of my friends who read this post just told me how beautiful your comment was. I do feel so too. It's like reading a book and it impresses me so much.

      With all comments here, I feel so much better and inspired to work harder both on my art and blogging :D

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    4. Pavinee and Suzi, Pavinee--wonderful, honest blog entry that so many of us creatives can relate to...congratulations on finding what works for you and having the courage to pursue what you love.

      Suzi, your comments feed the souls of many of us. Thank you for your words.

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    5. Thank you for coming here :D I agree with you Suzi' s comment really touches my heart. She makes me look forward. Thanks so much you guys! :D

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    6. Thank you for coming here :D I agree with you Suzi' s comment really touches my heart. She makes me look forward. Thanks so much you guys! :D

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  2. Adriana CalcagnoMarch 3, 2013 at 1:15 PM

    Hello! I know how you feel. I'm a graphic designer too, looking for something more creatively. I think acknowledging that we are afraid will help us to get through it. Your work is sweet and quirky and I believe you will be a great success.

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    1. Thank you Adriana. I believe some of us, graphic designers, feel like this from time to time. It means we still have passion in what we are doing I guess :D

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  3. It is always scary to not be able to see what lay ahead of what we truly want to do. I always love to create art ever since I was a little girl. It took me a long way to where I am--want to become an illustrator this year. I am always scary in every step that I take. I don't know what will happen,but all I know is that I want to do it because I enjoy creating my arts. So, it is just like everyone said---take one step at a time,and be persisted of what you love to do no matter what. We all will make mistakes,fail,get disappointed. But, we will learn so much through all these!! Keep up the great work! Happy creating!

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    1. Yes. I think the keywords of enjoying and learning keep me going. It will be a good experience.
      Thank you for stopping by and happy creating to you too! :D

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  4. I love your bravery! I completely understand how changing something small like your career status description signals something much bigger. I felt the same way when I described myself as a 'visual artist' on my blog and website. Small steps, big moves! Good luck. Your illustrations look wonderful!

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  5. Thanks so much! I never considered myself as an artist before, too afraid and not confident enough.
    But I think it's the simplest way to identify oneself. You just call yourself what you want to be and be it !

    Thanks for coming and commenting! :D

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  6. I wish I could do the same but I know I won't do well as a freelancer or someone who owns their own business which seems to be what you're doing. I like that your doing what you love and that's hard. I admire that.


    have a great day.

    p.s., love the header!

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    1. Thank you Lissa! I became a freelancer unintentionally but I loved it! But now I need to take another step :)

      Glad you like my bubble girl :)

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  7. Good luck with your venture, Pavinee. You were courageous in making those steps and it seems to have been the right decision for you so far...you appear to be very talented and your blog seems to be doing well...i'm sure you'll be crossing that line in no time x

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    1. Thank you so much Rachel. I was a bit afraid when I posted this entry but now I'm glad. It's like I let the fear out and now I don't feel fearful anymore. It's really a great therapy!

      I know in some blue days, it might come back but I think I know how to handle it now :)

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  8. Good luck with your venture, Pavinee. You were courageous in making those steps and it seems to have been the right decision for you so far...you appear to be very talented and your blog seems to be doing well...i'm sure you'll be crossing that line in no time x

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